Preaching text: John 20:19-29
There is an old joke told in workplaces everywhere. It’s said you can do your job perfectly for day after day, week after week, year after year, and no one will notice it. But make one mistake and EVERYONE notices.
I often feel that joke applies to St. Thomas, the Apostle of Jesus forever cursed to be known as “Doubting Thomas.” And that is so unfair, because it completely ignores everything else the man has done and accomplished. There’s more, you may ask? Oh, yeah. Lots more.
Thomas is called the “Twin” and some scholars have speculate that is because he’s actually Jesus’ biological twin. Now, of course, that runs counter to a whole slew of Christian doctrine and orthodoxy, but I do like the idea of Thomas being Jesus’ metaphorical twin; that he, like Peter and John, is so close to Jesus that they may as well be brothers.
John’s Gospel bears that out. He has two other appearances in John’s Gospel. The first occurs in John chapter 11. Word has just come to Jesus that Lazarus has died. Now Jesus is basically outlawed from Jerusalem at this point and if he returns then the religious authorities are going to do him in. Bethany, where Lazarus lived, is right next to Jerusalem, so if Jesus goes down there to his friend and his friend’s sisters, Mary and Martha, he’s tempting fate. Thomas speaks up, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” He knows the risks. He recognizes how dangerous this journey will be, yet Thomas says to Jesus and to the other 11, “We’re not letting him go alone.”
The second place Thomas shows up is a few chapters later (chapter 14) when Jesus is explaining one of his most important teachings. Jesus says, “In my Father’s house are many dwelling places....And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.” Thomas doesn’t get it, so he asks a question. “We don’t know where you’re going. How can we know the way?” To which Jesus responds with one of the most profound verses in all of Scripture. Come on, you know it. “I am the way...”
Thomas’s third appearance is, of course, the story for which he is most famous (or infamous). There are a couple of things in this story that we often overlook. First, yes, Thomas just a few chapters earlier was all gung-ho about dying with Jesus but when the time came, he fled like the others. No doubt, like them (except John), he watched from afar as Jesus was tortured and nailed to that cross. He watched from afar as Jesus slowly suffocated. He watched from afar as the spear pierced his side. He saw it all but from far away.
But here’s the thing. When the women show up on Sunday with word that Jesus has risen, ain’t none of them believe it. Luke, I believe, said the disciples responded to the women’s story as it was an “idle tale.” And even in John’s version of the story, the disciples respond to this wondrous news by locking themselves in a room and hiding in fear. All except for one of them and who was that?
Jesus shows up and the very first thing he does is show them his wounds. Why? Because he knows none of them are going to believe it’s really him if he doesn’t. They all doubt. When Thomas shows up later, what does he ask for? The very thing the other disciples received. Let me see the wounds. A week later, Jesus does precisely that.
To me, this story from John 20 is not a story about Thomas’ doubt, it’s a story about the wondrous grace of God whereby Jesus comes back to give Thomas what he needs to believe. Jesus comes back for Thomas and that can’t be overstated. He did that for a doubting disciple so that he could believe. Hold that thought, because I’m going to come back to it.
Thomas’s story doesn’t end there. The Church’s tradition says he became the Apostle to India. Now, I know there’s a lot of legendry and folklore in those old traditions, but in the 17th ad 18th centuries, when British explorers were first entering the Indian subcontinent to make it a part of their empire, they found (of course) Muslims and Hindus, the majority religions of the Indian subcontinent, but they also found Christians. Christians that belonged to a church called the Mar Thoma, a church that traced its ancestry back to St. Thomas. A church that exists today (There’s a worshipping community of Mar Thoma Christians in Philadelphia).
Not bad for the doubter.
Here’s the thing. We have been taught that doubt is bad, that doubt is evil, that doubt is to be avoided at all costs. And I think that’s stupid. Let’s be frank for a moment. We come here each Sunday to worship a man who was god, who was born of a virgin, who walked on water, who made water into wine, who was crucified and then rose again from the dead. Ain’t none of that makes a lick of sense from a logical or scientific perspective. It really doesn’t. There are going to be times in our own faith journey where we’re going to be like “Hey, wait a minute...I don’t get it.” We are going to doubt. It’s human nature. Yet we hide it away. Number one, like that’s going to fool God in anyway, he who knows our innermost hearts. Number two, as if hiding is going to solve the problem. Hiding it just makes it fester within us. That’s when it becomes bad. Better to embrace it and let it drive us forward to find the answers we need.
I believe Thomas became among the greatest of disciples not in spite of his doubt, but because of it. He let his doubt drive him forward; It compelled him to find the answers he needed. Because doubt is the fertilizer in which faith grows. Doubt leads to seeking, and seeking leads to Christ, and Christ leads to faith. I seem to recall Jesus said something about that somewhere, something about what happens when we “seek” him. And if you need evidence of that, look at what Jesus did for Thomas. He came back to show him what he needed. Do you think Jesus will do any less for you if you use your doubt to compel you to seek him and the answers you need?
Doubt is a tool and a good one. It turns baby Christians into adult Christians, shaky believers into fervent followers, if you use it. Far too many of us are stuck. Our faith hasn’t grown since our 3rd grade Sunday School class and it shows. We live in a society and a nation that claims to be Christian and yet is anything but, consumed with selfishness, greed, violence, and cruelty. We’ve lost our way.
We need more Thomases. We need his courage, his boldness, and his willingness to admit there are some things he doesn’t know or understand. We need Christians unafraid to grow and become apostles like him. Want to become one of them? Then let your doubt drive you to seek the Lord. Because he will be found. Amen.
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