Preaching text: John 20:19-31
I’ve spent the last twenty plus years preaching this Sunday, even before I was an ordained pastor and just a lay speaker, and I always rush to his defense. Not just because Thomas is a good man who should be admired rather than denigrated, but because I find doubt to be a positive trait in people. Doubt drives us to question. Doubt drives us to seek. Doubt is behind St. Paul’s counsel to “Test every spirit and hold fast to what is good.” (1 Thess 5:21)
Because when we seek and when we question and when we test, that’s when we grow. That’s when we change. That’s when we find ourselves becoming closer to Christ and we find ourselves remaking our lives in his likeness. And that is, or at least should be, the goal of every Christian.
But that’s not what I find in the Church. Instead, I often find two other things. First, I find embarrassment. People who fear their doubt. People who don’t want to admit to it. People who see doubt as spiritual weakness, as sin, as something Christ would reject them over. So they hide it and refuse to admit to it, hoping that denial will make it go away and/or will keep others from noticing.
To those who feel that way, I hope you see the comfort the Thomas story offers you. Jesus does not castigate or scold Thomas in his doubt. He offers him precisely what Thomas said he need to believe. He holds forth his hands and his side; he shows his wounds so that Thomas may believe. Always remember that God wants you to believe. He wants you to trust in him. He did all this for you. From the Old Covenant to Jesus’ birth to the crucifixion to the empty tomb, all done for your sake. In fact, he wants you to believe so badly that he sends his Holy Spirit to you so that you can and do believe.
Easily one of the most troubling and yet comforting passages in all of our Lutheran doctrine is Luther’s explanation of the Third Article of the Apostles Creed. “I believe that I cannot by my own reason or strength believe in Jesus Christ, my Lord, or come to Him; but the Holy Spirit has called me by the Gospel, enlightened me with His gifts, sanctified and kept me in the true faith.” We can’t believe without God and yet God provides. Doubt doesn’t erase faith. It can’t. You have nothing to fear.
Now, granted, you might change your mind about a theological point here and there. You might change your mind about doctrine or dogma along the way. But faith itself? No, God’s not letting you go. He’s got you and he intends to keep you. So whatever doubt you have, don’t be afraid to embrace the questions and embrace the seeking. You may find yourself very much like Thomas. You may find that God will provide precisely what you need.
But there is another kind in the church besides the embarrassed ones. It’s those who are certain. Those who have complete and utter certainty that they know what God wants. They know what God would do. They know exactly what God thinks about this thing or that. These are people who have gone one step beyond embarrassment and have excised all doubt from their minds. And along with it, they’ve excised questions and seeking and growth and becoming closer to Christ. They know everything, so they claim. In fact, they don’t need Jesus or the Bible or any of those things (although they might manipulate these to their own ends). They’ve got all the answers. In fact, many of them are more than willing to tell you and I just how badly we’ve got it wrong.
A friend of mine once shared a bit of advice with me some years ago. “Mingle with those who seek the truth. Shun those who have found it.” The Church is meant to be a place for those who seek, but all too often those within who have found some measure of an always-incomplete truth will turn around and bludgeon and bully those they regard as lesser. Many of them, I fear, we call pastor or minister. I hope I never become that.
Certainty is dangerous and not just in the Church. I was watching a TV interview with Frank Schaeffer a few days ago. Schaeffer is a liberal activist and a former paragon of the Religious Right who has since renounced them. He said something that intrigued me about people of faith who are “certain.” Here’s his quote...”People who are certainty addicts tend to do bad things...I’ve never heard of anybody blowing up an abortion clinic or a white police officer shooting a black man or someone bombing a mosque after they shout ‘But I could be wrong.’”
Those of right-leaning inclinations may not find this to their liking.
You can think of plenty of other examples too from all parts of life. Suicide bombers don’t typically question before they kill a hundred people in central Baghdad. Anti-vaxxers don’t typically seek the real answers before they subject their children to the terrible risk of dangerous disease. Conspiracy theorists don’t typically look up the facts that will probably refute their crazy ideas. Climate deniers know everything there is to know about meteorology, far more than those who’ve actually studied the data. Some of these are laughable and harmless. Others can have real lasting and terrible impact on people’s lives.
Doubt is a check against this. When we embrace our doubt, when we use it to seek the truth, to seek Christ, we rarely become so arrogant or self-righteous. Because our need for God is ever before us. None of us should ever lose that perspective.
When I preached about Thomas at the ecumenical service, one of my fellow pastors pulled me aside afterwards to ask me where I felt the line was between what he called honest doubt and unbelief was. He probably did not like my answer. Doubt is always honest or it should be. Unbelief is what happens when we have all the answers, because that is when we foolishly think we no longer need God.
My prayer for everyone here and for myself also is that we never stop seeking. We never stop reaching for God. That we never let either discouragement or success end that quest. Like Thomas, we are Jesus’ disciples. A disciple is a student, a learner. And I know from experience that I have a long way to go before I graduate, as do we all. Amen.
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